Dead Cat - Cop and Iggy
"Dead Cat - Cop and Iggy" is the 2nd episode of The Cop and Iggy. Synopsis Cop and Iggy arrive shouting at the same time. Cop asks Iggy what he wants and why he is calling him and bugging him. Cop says someone just called his phone and had to hang up on them. He asks what is going on and says he was trying to read a magazine, saying he is a cop and wants to read and asks for someone to give him a donut. He asks Iggy what he wants and Iggy says the police force got a phone call, to which Cop replies, "Good for flippin' them!". However, Iggy realizes they are the police force. Cop asks Iggy if he is not one of the "village people". Iggy deduces that means they got a phone call. Cop shows himself containing all his excitement and proceeds to do the Cop Dance. After he is done dancing, Cop asks Iggy about the call and he tells him it was an emergency phone call from Mrs. Jenkins, whom Cop describes as "the lady with no teeth". Iggy asks Cop if she knows what she said, but Cop says he almost swallowed his head right then. Iggy repeats his question, but Cop says they could call a circus and maybe they could get a side job. Iggy shouts his repeated question and tells Cop Mrs. Jenkins said her cat died. The Cop then gasps in shock. He calls her cat's death a bummer. Iggy adds that the dead cat is on the ground. They are both shocked by this as Iggy screams. After some more shouting, Iggy says they are all going to die, but the Cop hits him and tells him to stop. The Cop says he has no words, saying the cat is "R.K., roadkill", "minced meat", "doggie chew", and "beef kitty". Cop asks Iggy what Mrs. Jenkins wants from them since he is reading a magazine and wants to read. Iggy explains she called and said they have to sing a song in honor of her cat. The Cop agrees, saying he guesses it is their duty. He says they need some magical music, saying how in movies and TV shows, there is "that little Family Matters moment when everything starts coming in nice and pretty" and there is a symphony in the background as people suddenly start singing out of nowhere. Iggy asks how and the Cop begins to mention his "marvelous mother and her marvelous mustache". Iggy says, "Bless her marvelous mustache." and Cop tells him not to talk about her mustache, so Iggy apologizes. Cop tells Iggy to say it is a caterpillar, so Iggy revises his statement and says, "Bless her marvelous caterpillar!". Cop then tells Iggy to "buzz it", saying his mother taught him how to summon the musical wizard. He says he has never done it before and that his mother used to do it for him, but since she is now dead, he has to do it himself. But Cop tells Iggy he doesn't need him here, ordering him to go to his office and retrieve his lyric sheet in the thirteenth file in the fourth filing cabinet. Iggy asks if he means the thirteenth file that is located in the thirteenth cabinet that the Cop placed in there "on the thirteenth day of the thirteenth month of the thirteenth week of the thirteenth year." The Cop confirms, saying it is labelled "#14." Iggy says he will get it and Cop tells him to grab it, so he runs off. Cop tells Iggy to listen, calling him a "flippin' lizard", "Lizzy", "rodent", and "punk", each one Iggy makes a noise at. Cop tells him his mother gets pointed at at the zoo. He then says he will now do just as his mother used to do to summon music for him as a child. Cop says she would always rub her mustache as he rubs his own, but nothing happens, so Cop assumes she was simply an itchy lady. Cop tries something else, saying though he doesn't really understand it, she used to always yell, "YOU'RE NOT MY CHILD! I DON'T KNOW WHO YOU ARE! GET OUT! GET OUT!". Nothing happens again, so he tries singing, "Ohh, magical wizard! Oh, you are so great! Oh, magical wizard! Come from your pine tree, make me some mus--". He is interrupted by Willy the Wizard's entrance. Willy says that just for his singing, he will grant him any musical wish he wants, as long as he promises to never sing around him again. Cop says he was not here, to which Willy reminds him he is everywhere. The Cop asks him if he is his "Fairy Godmother" as he then sings. Willy asks him if he looks like a Fairy Godmother and Cop tells Willy he is not very masculine. Willy declares he is the musical wizard. Cop then vibrates like Willy, but he says it hurts and will not do it anymore. Cop tells Willy he needs music to magically appear so he can sing a song to Mrs. Jenkins. Willy asks Cop why he did not ask, to which he says he was trying to, but Willy is a little annoying. Cop says he would shoot him in the face, but he is is "Fairy Godmother or whatever". He tells Willy to make some music, go back up in his pine tree, and not to bother him anymore. Willy tells Cop that the music is inside of him in his heart. Cop says he just inspired him to rip his shirt off and dance, but Willy begs him not to. Cop says he cannot stop it and that it is inside of him "like in the movie Alien". He then rips his shirt open, saying he now feels ridiculous and Willy tells him he should. Cop tells him he is a horrible Fairy Godmother, to which he retorts he is a horrible human being. With that, he says he must go and says, "Goodbye, my fairy child man thing!". Cop tells him to go away, to which he says, "Wizard!" and leaves. Cop says he better get his shirt back on before Iggy shows up and he does so. Just then, Iggy returns and Cop asks him if he brought the lyrics and Iggy confirms, saying they are "down there". Cop asks why everything is down there and Iggy says he doesn't know. Cop says he is going to have to squeeze real hard so some music will come out. He tells Iggy not to ask and to just stand back since he doesn't know what is going to happen. With that, the Cop squeezes as music begins to play. He then sings, "Oh, Mrs. Jenkins, I'm sorry to say, but your pretty kitty, well, it died today!". Iggy sings, "I am so sad, that, that it he died! When I saw the dead kitty, I cried!". Cop then sings, "Your, cat, is, dead! I saw it happen right out on the road! I saw it happen! I saw his head explode!". Iggy sings, "Who could have done such a horrible thing? Who the heck is this guy? That's what I sing!". Cop sings, "The guy that did this, well he had curly hair! He yelled out, 'Stupid!' and said he didn't care!". Iggy sings, "Oh, my God! I think I know that guy!", but then abruptly says, "Oh, wait. I don't." The Cop then sings, "Go get a shovel and clean up your cat!". Iggy then sings, "So we can get donuts and the Cop can get fat!". Now done singing, Cop proclaims the job is done. Iggy says nobody sings songs like them about dead cats. Cop asks Iggy if he noticed that he clearly stated she needed to grab her shovel and pick up her cat. He asks Iggy if he sees her picking it up and he says no and that the cat is still dead on the ground, smelling vaguely like "onions and cheese". The Cop asks if they shall go grab their shovel and go find an old lady, to which Iggy asks if they then give it to her and make her pick up the cat and the Cop says no. Iggy then shouts, "LET'S GO BASH OLD LADY!!!" as Cop repeats it and they both charge off. Gallery Dead Cat.png Category:Season 2009 Category:Videos Category:Episodes Category:The Cop and Iggy Episodes